I'm Fat

I am fat.
I wasn't always this way. My Mum took me to the doctor at the age of two because I was too thin! The clever, old doc said "Its the city air, Mrs M.", and it was the excuse my Dad needed to persuade my mum to escape to the country. It took just three months to make the move, but another five years to begin building the blob.
I hated school dinners, they were awful. In the '60s, Scottish school pupils were subjected to Central Kitchen Dinners, which defy description, but obviously I'm going to try. The name gives it away slightly as these meals were created on a remote site and transported to our dining room in rectangular steel boxes, which were kept warm until lunch. I can still smell them. Mashed potatoes with hard lumps, served with an icecream scoop; mince or beef stew, the only difference being the size of the pieces; oh and the peas, tinned obviously , and served in their juice. Yummy! On their side was the idea of portion control, no one could get fat on three cubes of beef and a small scoop of potato - that's if you ate it at all, of course.
I was fed up being hungry, so I begged my Mum to give me a packed lunch. In the summer of 1970, it was the height of sophistication. I had sandwiches made with white bread and orange cheese, a boiled egg, salt and vinegar crisps, and if I was really lucky, a pork pie. I then went home and enjoyed  my tea, which wasn't complete without something and custard.
I can remember the day very well. I was sitting in the playground (packed lunchers weren't welcome in the dining room, for fear of creating a revolution), sitting next to my buddy. Skirts were short and my white socks were rolled down round my ankles, so my tanned, bruised legs were on show. and I noticed that my thighs spread out and covered more playground than my friend's. And they wobbled! Of course we both thought this was cool.
At home, the change had been noticed too. As the Autumn approached and I returned to school, I also returned to school dinners, and, horror of horrors, the puddings stopped at teatime. Mum thought that these simple changes would give her back her skinny wee girl, but the dye was cast, and by December of that year, I was on my first diet.